So, remember that novel I finished like three weeks ago? I’ve basically been avoiding writing since then. Oh, sure. I’ve dabbled. I’ve scribbled. I cracked open a new, blank journal complete with its millions (?) of empty lines. I usually use small journals because they fill quickly and don’t make me feel like a failure. But this one was a gift and so I’m using it.
Anyway, for the first week or so after Finishing the Novel, I thought I deserved a break. I’d been writing (nearly) every day for a month. I’d churned out (nearly) 50,000 words. I’d won Camp NaNoWriMo. The draft was “done”.
But as it goes in this crazy writer’s cycle, I got some new ideas. Also, since I’ve decided to let the manuscript sit until November before I even read it, I’ve got lots of time. And since for reasons I still can’t figure out, my Life Goal is to Be Published, I have to keep writing.
Regardless of me telling myself this, what I have been spending most of this month doing is watching Netflix and avoiding packing. We packed on Saturday and moved on Sunday, and we’ve been unpacking since.
Other things I manage to do to avoid writing are the following: blog (case in point), Netflix binge (I’ve mentioned this already but it’s such a time-waster that it deserves to be mentioned twice), waste time on Twitter (you can find me @tmorsecode if you’re interested in shorter versions of my ramblings) and various other internet-based things.
Sprinkle in some junk food eating, my dog’s potty breaks, and just sitting in my office chair listening to it squeak, and you’ve got my day. By the time I’ve done all that, I’m so exhausted (and I’ve been on the computer so long) that I need a “break” and I go do something else that’s useless.
I am among the more skilled procrastinators that I know, especially given my extraordinary ability to guilt myself. If I don’t write, I can’t edit and revise a complete manuscript, meaning I can’t query agents who will then hopefully go sell my book. On the other hand, if I don’t write, I can’t fail at the above goal.
And so here I am, trapped in a cycle of only mildly dream-crushing procrastination. I’m either off to eat another brownie or actually get my butt in gear and get some words on the page. Time will tell.